I grew up having to go to church every Sunday – sometimes twice on that day. I was forced into Vacation Bible School every summer as a child and I was baptized – several times. Throughout my life, I was basically doing what I thought I should be doing when it came to religion based on how I was raised. I never got it right, though, because I didn’t have it in me authentically.
Eventually, I turned more into a spiritual person than a religious one. After all, who knows what actually went down back then when Jesus walked the earth? The stuff in the Bible seemed a little too iffy for me but I absolutely believed in God and His son so I just ran with being more of a deviant Christian, if that makes sense. Truthfully, I was all over the place. I was just trying to reconcile my thoughts with my feelings and it seemed to be an impossible feat. Eventually, I became sort of agnostic. I would get so annoyed when people would come around talking about how God made their life all great and always…


I started this blog over a decade ago. I used this platform as a way to express myself during a time of transition in my life and writing here was very cathartic during that time. The dynamics of my life were very different from today, and I was much more free and open because there was minimal fear of judgment for me back then. I stopped writing here in 2005 and came back in 2014 but started taking down the old stuff I had posted because I realized that it was probably too much information that could be used as ammunition against me in my “new life”.
Eventually, I removed every single post because I realized that people thrive off of other people’s strife.  I used to think folk were delusional when they went around saying “People keep hating on me” or “They’re trying to destroy me” until I began to experience it myself. The undermining, collusive behavior some people will stoop to just to throw you off of your game is astounding. And sickening.
This blog was actually not something I ev…